My world changed on March 18th, when San Francisco Mayor London Breed announced a shelter-in-place for the City. Even though I work across the Bay in Concord, everyone in our office knew the rest of Northern California would follow San Francisco’s lead. We all stood in stunned silence in the common area outside our offices contemplating what this would mean. Our company owns and operates four large retail automotive dealerships and two collision centers. Over 600 employees.
It wasn’t long before the entire Bay Area shut down. Everyone had to stay home. Most everything closed. Only essential workers were allowed to head to work. Because I work in internal and external communications for our company, I was deemed essential. I continued my daily commute on nearly empty California freeways, helping our company navigate shuttering the dealerships and furloughing employees.
I was very busy those first few weeks getting Covid-19 messaging up on our websites, shutting down outbound email campaigns and other marketing, getting signage up on our stores and strategizing with the executive team on next steps. Our service departments were allowed to remain open with limited hours and staffs and ever evolving facility and sanitization protocols. We scrambled to set up new virtual ways to interact with our service customers. Each day, I was immersed in news about the pandemic. Between official government updates, I found myself checking the news online many times each day and watching it every night on television.
Once the White House press briefings started happening on a regular basis, I expected to get some comfort. I was hoping that there would be some clear messaging there. Some leadership. It soon became clear that would not be the case. I stopped watching them. They made me feel anxious, confused and often angry.
I’ve always been a bit of a germaphobe and frequent hand washer anyway and I was not at all comfortable with any of this. I stopped going out for lunch during the week, packing my own and bringing it in. I have not done take out from restaurants either since that day Mayor Breed made her announcement. I had a good supply of face masks, left over from the North Bay wildfires a few years ago. And I bought some isopropyl alcohol and a few plastic spray bottles. I wear plastic gloves when I pump gas into my car and throw them away at the station when I am done.
Everyone at the office has been good about social distancing and wearing masks in the common areas. Those who can work from home have been doing so. My first few trips to the grocery store were pretty incident free. Trader Joe’s and the little market near where I live figured it out pretty quickly and Californians are pretty good about watching out for one another. We’re all in this together I thought.
I lost most all interest in taking photographs in March and early April. I finally decided to shoot up some film in my yard, taking snaps of my flowers and various other things around the house. Rather than inspire me, the backyard photography made me feel claustrophobic and isolated. I really longed for the days when I could wander the beach or a crowded downtown with my camera.
Weekdays are easier for me than weekends. My weekday routine is up early and into the office. It’s one Zoom meeting after another. I get home and eat some dinner. I’ve stopped watching regular television, retreating into the world of You Tube instead…photography videos mostly and, interestingly enough…music from the 1970s, clips from old television shows…relics of simpler times.
On weekends, I always head into Friday hoping to find my center. I try and get out and walk some, doing the Covid-19 dance when I approach a neighbor, eye-smiling through our masks. I also try and sleep in a bit, but find that my Saturday and Sunday morning sleep-ins are littered with terrible nightmares that I have to shake myself awake to escape from.
I headed downtown once with my Hasselblad thinking I would get some shots of Napa under lockdown. Even though we were not supposed to drive anywhere to walk, I figured no one would care. By the time I parked, guilt overcame me and I never even turned the car off. Went back home and shot the film up in my backyard.